Timely Quotes

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." 
-George Burns

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." 
-Ernest Hemingway

"Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning."
-George Bernard Shaw